Turning 30 is scary! Especially, if you are single. Socially, it is acceptable to be single in your twenties. In fact, it is actually encouraged. Especially in our modern day world, as many people are settling down and getting married later in life. Yet, for many women, the pressure to find ‘The One’ is still very confronting and the thought of being Still Single In Your 30’s is absolutely terrifying!
My best friend recently turned 30. And she was terrified of this! But at the time I wasn’t entirely sure why.
That is, until a late night phone call one evening in the months that followed. We were long overdue for a catch up and at the time, she had just had her heart broken by a guy she was madly in love with. So of course, the conversation was a long one, in which we both poured our hearts out over the perils of finding love. And it was at this moment that she finally confessed that she was terrified of the cliche stigma – Still Single in Your 30’s!
We’ve both been single for many years. So of course, I already knew that she longs to find her soulmate. Yet still, I was somewhat surprised by her apprehension to turning 30. As it turns out, a male colleague (her boss, in fact!) had told her,
If a woman is still single in her 30’s, there must be something wrong with her!
As she shared this conversation with me (including her detest for the statement!), I was equally as shaken.
The comment, Still Single in Your 30’s rang true for me, as it wasn’t exactly the first time I’d heard it either. Instantly, it reminded me of a remark made by one of my male colleagues during my corporate career (in reference to the fact that I have been in several long-term relationships that didn’t lead to marriage), “Oh, so you are damaged goods then!”
Why is it that society perceives that a woman who is not married must have issues?
Perhaps she just hasn’t met the right person yet! My friend, who is a fellow Cancerian, is one of the most loyal souls I’ve ever met. Yet modern dating is tough. So, why is our society so quick to judge! Sure, I’ve been through a lot of pain and heartbreak on the path to finding love. But that has only made me a stronger person. And if anything, we only have more love to give – to the right person who is deserving of my affection and commitment.
I’ve been single for ten years now. (That is a little scary when I say it like that!) But, during my twenties, I learnt a lot about love. I’ve been in several long-term relationships and also dated a lot of different men. So I now know exactly what I’m looking for in a relationship. If a guy doesn’t cut it, I can normally see the signs from a mile away! Yet somehow, the ‘wrong’ type of man is commonly the one I seem to attract.
The journey to finding love has been somewhat frustrating for me, as I search for genuine connections.
So I’ve started to delve deeper into my dating history, to see what it is that I am doing to prevent myself from finding true love. Last year, I began focusing energy on harnessing the law of attraction. So, taking up a suggestion from a friend, I decided to write a letter to the universe, which went a little something like this:
I AM READY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! ♡
My ‘twin flame’ soulmate.
Someone who challenges me.
A partner who cares for me and makes me laugh.
A man who supports me and is capable of being a great father to my children in the future.
A practical hard-worker who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and who works hard to achieve financial stability so that he can provide for his family.
A man who is loyal, trust-worthy and deserving of my love.
A partner who loves me equally, in return for my eternal love.
Someone who makes me smile and someone I can explore the world with on life’s crazy journey!
I pledge to release any negative feelings I have towards past love and embrace this new relationship with an open heart.
Please send the love of my life a message that I am ready to welcome them into my life, so that we can start our life path journey together!
Whether or not it actually helps me to manifest my soulmate, we are yet to see! Strangely enough, though, not long after I wrote this letter, I did feel a shift in my energy towards finding love.
It’s empowering to know that you are in control of your love life!
Recently, I also learnt of the power of crystal energy in the healing process. So I put this handwritten note in a card and tied a crystal to it. Then, I sealed the envelope and placed it on my bedside table, so each night I am reminded of it as I fall asleep. Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if the universe is actually listening. And I know it may sound a little crazy. But, if nothing else, it reminds me of what my values are in a relationship. And most importantly, it reassures me that what I am actually waiting for is worth it!
For years, I’ve responded negatively whenever anyone asked me if I was seeing anyone. So perhaps that is, (somewhat ironically!) ‘What is Wrong with Me’. But now that I’ve opened my heart to finding love again, I feel both excited and optimistic about my ability to actively attract my soul mate! What are you doing to manifest love into your life? I’d love to hear your suggestions.